Vandalism in Slowjamastan: Where Was Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona? Fellow Slowjamastanis, the unthinkable has happened. On December 14, 2024, our beloved nation fell victim to an act of vandalism, leaving the community in shock. But the real scandal? The whispers echoing across Slowjamastan: “Where was Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona?” Let’s address READ MORE

Breaking News from Slowjamastan: Why Are Crocs Being Banned in Schools? By Dirk Cunningham In a bold move that has now crossed borders, the United States has followed in Slowjamastan’s pioneering footsteps and banned Crocs from American schools. Yes, you heard that right—those rubbery, hole-filled nightmares have officially been outlawed in the very place where READ MORE

Breaking: NATO Summit Adventure Ends in Coffee Catastrophe Story by Dirk Cunningham In an unprecedented twist of international relations, the Sultan and Chief Border Patrol of Slowjamastan arrived at the NATO Summit, setting the stage for a comedy of errors that no diplomatic handbook could have prepared for. The arrival of the Slowjamastan royalty was READ MORE

Dare To Keep Kids Off Crocs! Story By Dirk Cunningham In the whimsical realm of Porder Batrol, Chief Mark Corona was a man on a mission. Armed with determination and a disdain for dubious footwear, he waged a war against the insidious Croc cartel. From his headquarters in Slowjamastan, Chief Corona issued bold proclamations over READ MORE

**News Flash: Croc Violator Apprehended After Wild Chase Through San Diego, CA!** By Dirk Cunningham In a jaw-dropping turn of events, the Porder Batrol successfully captured a notorious croc violator who had been wreaking havoc in San Diego, CA! The daring pursuit unfolded in a scene straight out of a blockbuster movie, as the culprit, READ MORE