We Asked Real Countries to Recognize Our Micronation, Will They? BECOME AN AGENT BECOME A CITIZEN
Big Trouble in Little Slowjamastan! (EP1)
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE SLOWJAMASTAN BECOME AN AGENT BECOME A CITIZEN
BORDER UPDATE: WAIT TIME UNDER ONE MINUTE
BORDER UPDATE: WAIT TIME UNDER ONE MINUTE The Porder Batrol is pleased to report that today’s wait at the Slowjamastan border was under one minute—primarily because no one else was there. No SENTRI card was required. No Crocs were detected. All string cheese was found fully compliant, and surveillance confirmed no mumble rap within a READ MORE
FOREIGN AGENT INFILTRATES SLOWJAMASTAN, APPARENTLY FINDS VERY LITTLE
FOREIGN AGENT INFILTRATES SLOWJAMASTAN, APPARENTLY FINDS VERY LITTLE Porder Batrol Incident Report Classification: Probably ImportantIncident: Unauthorized Foreign ReconnaissanceStatus: Under InvestigationReporting Agent: Agent Ashworth Porder Batrol has been made aware of a deeply concerning — although admittedly not very exciting — breach of the Glorious Porder of the Republic of Slowjamastan. Thanks to the exceptional intelligence-gathering READ MORE
Operation Silent Crocs
OPERATION SILENT CROCS What began as a routine undercover assignment inside a San Diego corporate ballroom quickly evolved into one of the most sophisticated Crocs-related investigations in recent Slowjamastani history. According to official Porder Batrol intelligence records, Chief Border Agent Mark Corona was dispatched to the location after authorities received anonymous reports regarding suspicious footwear READ MORE
Bad at Texting Is Now Under Investigation
Bad at Texting Is Now Under Investigation EP. 02 — BAD AT TEXTINGOfficial Advisory Issued by Chief Mark CoronaSlowjamastan Porder Batrol Tonight’s advisory addresses a growing pattern of suspicious communication behavior commonly identified as bad texting. Citizens who respond with one-word answers, disappear mid-conversation, or repeatedly reply “lol” without advancing the discussion may now be READ MORE
BORDER UPDATE: THE RETURN OF “LA PELUCA”
BORDER UPDATE: THE RETURN OF “LA PELUCA” PORDER BATROL INTELLIGENCE DIVISION STATUS: UNDER CONTROL THREAT LEVEL: MODERATE WITH POSSIBLE FASHION-RELATED ESCALATION https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odqFoSWLdVc The Sovereign Nation of Slowjamastan would like to officially inform all citizens, travelers, taco transporters, and lawful sandal wearers that notorious Croc smuggler known only as “La Peluca” has once again surfaced in READ MORE
Ghosting Is Now Under Investigation
Ghosting Is Now Under Investigation EP. 01 — GHOSTINGOfficial Advisory Issued by Chief Mark CoronaSlowjamastan Porder Batrol Tonight’s advisory addresses a growing pattern of suspicious emotional behavior known as ghosting. Citizens who disappear after showing strong romantic interest are now considered under investigation by the Slowjamastan Porder Batrol. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOKEA26YASs Chief Mark Corona and the Slowjamastan READ MORE
SUSPICIOUS FOOTWEAR AT SOUTHERN BORDER
SUSPICIOUS FOOTWEAR NEAR SOUTHERN BORDER INCIDENT REPORT#: PB-051626-MCSTATUS: INVESTIGATION ACTIVETHREAT LEVEL: MODERATE (WITH EXCESSIVE CONFIDENCE) At approximately 1615 hours, agents of the Porder Batrol were dispatched to the southern inspection corridor following multiple citizen complaints regarding suspicious footwear behavior and possible taco-related negligence. Witnesses reported observing a dark-colored SUV slowly cruising near the Slowjamastan checkpoint READ MORE
OFFICIAL CITIZEN READINESS EXAMINATION
OFFICIAL CITIZEN READINESS EXAMINATION EXAM CODE: CRE-20STATUS: ACTIVECLEARANCE LEVEL: PUBLIC The following examination has been authorized by the Porder Batrol Citizen Readiness Division to determine whether applicants possess the minimum knowledge required to safely operate within the borders of Slowjamastan. Applicants may be evaluated on: national laws emergency taco transport regulations Crocs awareness dashboard feet READ MORE