Mark Corona is the fearless leader of the Slowjamastan Porder Batrol, dedicated to defending our beloved nation’s borders from the ultimate fashion disaster: fugly clown-looking shoes, a.k.a. Crocs.

First, watch the video. Seriously, it’s a requirement.

Our ironclad laws ensure the safety of our citizens from the true criminal masterminds: mumble rap enthusiasts, people who butcher string cheese eating etiquette, and those brazen enough to prop their dirty feet on the dashboard while cruising down the highway. Join us in our noble quest to keep Slowjamastan free of these heinous acts!

In 2024 We launched The Porder Batrol Coffee Brand

Porder Batrol Coffee

Mark Corona, a passionate coffee enthusiast, had dreamed of launching his own coffee brand for years, but struggled to find a unique and captivating angle. That is, until the birth of our quirky nation of Slowjamastan inspired a brilliant idea: Porder Batrol Coffee.

Chief Corona embarked on a global quest, biking and pogo-sticking across mountains and jungles in search of the perfect brew. His relentless quest finally led him to discover the most extraordinary coffee.

Now, Mark’s amazing Porder Batrol Coffee is ready for you! Freshly roasted the same day it ships, it’s the pinnacle of coffee perfection. And the best part? The Sultan himself has decreed free shipping within the United States Territories.

Try it out and join our mission against those hideous Crocs. With every bag you purchase, you’re helping us stamp out these fashion nightmares. Order your Porder Batrol Coffee today and let us know what you think!

More About The Porder Batrol Here...

Sultan and Chief Mark Corona

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As Seen Or Heard On

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