We're HIRING A Few Outstanding Average Agents
Do you actually think you've got what it takes to become one of us?
Well, today might be your lucky day because WE’RE HIRING! That’s right, the Porder Batrol is now hiring co-ed field agents.
All applicants MUST somewhat meet or exceed our stringent standards, as follows:
- Attempt at least one push-up within one minute
- Walk a straight-line while finishing a game of angry birds
- Recover quickly after a 90-min power nap
- Enjoy taxpayer funded coffee, donuts, and frequent ice cream socials
- Complain about many issues at the same time
- Have a love for animals
Absolutely NO experience necessary.
If you responded with enthusiasm, Chief Mark Corona is excited to review your application. Apply today!
Disclaimer: There are only two ways to join the growing Nation of the Slowjamastan community. You can simply apply to become a Citizen here, or you can pay your dues to society by joining the not-so-hardworking crack team, The Porder Batrol. Suit yourself.
Agent Application
In 2023 Chief Mark Corona Has:
- Burned over 1,600 crocs
- Aprehended a leader of the Croc cartel.
- Arrested notorious croc smuggler, “La Peluca“.
- Slapped 73 people with a dirty croc for placing their feet (pies) on the dashboard of their car.
But First; Let Me Take A Selfie!
Ijole! Looks like our Slowjamastan Chief Border Agent Mark Corona is being seen all over the U.S! Everyone’s got their cameras out and ready to capture el Porder Batrol in action. Keep your eyes peeled, because who knows, he might roll up next to you.
Did you record him? Send your video to IG or TikTok. IG: @PorderBatrol. TikTok: @ThePorderBatrol.
Sexiest Carwash Ever!
Watch as Mark Corona gets down and dirty, literally! Enjoy and share with your friends.
What The Heck Is Slowjamastan?
Don’t worry, be happy because It is the worlds newest nation. And you know what? Esta chingon! If you ever have a chance to visit our beautiful country, please know that we have some very strict laws. For example; wearing Crocs is a huge violation. You will be arrested by Chief Mark Corona.
To learn more about our laws and government, visit Slowjamastan, now. We look forward to having you as a guest.
Spread the word about PorderBatrol.com and help us fight the good fight.