Do you hate crocs? Do you know how to eat string cheese? Do you despise feet on the dashboard?

My friend, you came to the right place!

Hello, I’m Mark Corona, Chief Border Patrol Agent for Slowjamastan, the world’s newest country. My job is to enforce our laws, secure our borders, and slap the hell out of violators with the use of a dirty croc. If you are the kind of person who hates crocs – the shoes not the reptiles, knows how eat string cheese correctly, and can’t stand feet on the dashboard, well damn it, what are you waiting for? Apply for a chance to becomeĀ one of my agents today.

What Is Porder Batrol

Agent Application

In Slowjamastan, we believe in the dissolution of crocs, teaching people the correct way to eat string cheese, and eliminating feet on the dashboard forever! Want to join our cause? Apply to become one of my agents and together, we will succeed in creating a croc-free world!

Connect With The Chief!

As Seen And Heard On

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