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Protecting our “Borders” Against Crocs!

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SEE something, SAY something! 866-NO-CROCS

The Republic Of Slowjamastan

The Republic Of Slowjamastan

Welcome to Slowjamastan, the world’s grooviest new country, where fun and hilarity reign supreme! Our borders are guarded by the illustrious Porder Batrol, led by the one and only Chief Mark Corona. Yes, you read it right. Not “Border Patrol”—that would be too ordinary for Slowjamastan.

You may have heard of us (and if you haven’t, you must be stuck in a Wi-Fi dead zone). We’ve been splashed across major news outlets like CNN, FOX, The Guardian, and even South Korea TV, making us the talk of the world! 

And, like any self-respecting nation, we have laws. Our numero uno law? NO Crocs! Seriously, why on earth would anyone willingly wear those Swiss cheese-looking monstrosities?

Check out our full list of laws!

Slowjamastan boasts citizens and agents from every corner of the globe, united by their love for puns and playful governance.

Our nation is ruled by the Sultan, who, despite running a dictatorship, keeps the mood light and the laughs rolling.

Situated in the heart of North America, Slowjamastan is a cozy Micronation nestled within Imperial County, Southern California. Our kingdom spans a whopping 11.07 acres, cozily cradled next to California State Route 78, sandwiched between the delightful American towns of Ocotillo Wells and Westmorland. It’s the perfect spot for a sovereign state that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

So, come on down to Slowjamastan, where the borders are secure, the leaders are laugh-out-loud funny, and every day is a chance to groove to your own rhythm!

Become a Slowjamastan Citizen

Want To Join The Growing Nation Of Slowjamastan?

Become an Ambassador

Become an Agent

Join the Porder Batrol Coffee Revolution!

Introducing the official Porder Batrol Coffee by Mark Corona, now available for you to savor at home. Enjoy the luxury of fresh, expertly roasted coffee delivered straight to your door with complimentary shipping, thanks to our generous Sultan. Each bag is roasted on the day it ships, ensuring you receive the freshest, most flavorful coffee every time. And the best part? With every purchase, you’re joining us in the mission to obliterate crocs, one bag at a time.

Order your Porder Batrol Coffee today and elevate your coffee experience!

Crocade Punishment
Croc Violator Busted
Ask not what your Porder Batrol can do for you – Ask what you can do for your Porder Batrol

Put a Smile One Someone’s Face With A 15-30 sec Personalized Video Message From The Sultan or Chief Mark Corona. Inquiry Here

Watch Mark Corona in action! 

In Slowjamastan, we believe in the dissolution of crocs, teaching people the correct way to eat string cheese, and eliminating feet on the dashboard forever! Want to join our cause? Well, Damn it, What are you waiting for? Apply to become one of my agents and together, we will succeed in creating a croc-free world!

As Seen And Heard On

CNN
The Guardian
Fox News
KTLA
South Korea TV
KFI