Welcome to Slowjamastan, the world’s grooviest new country, where fun and hilarity reign supreme! Our borders are guarded by the illustrious Porder Batrol, led by the one and only ChiefMark Corona. Yes, you read it right. Not “Border Patrol”—that would be too ordinary for Slowjamastan.
You may have heard of us (and if you haven’t, you must be stuck in a Wi-Fi dead zone). We’ve been splashed across major news outlets like CNN, FOX, The Guardian, and even South Korea TV, making us the talk of the world!
And, like any self-respecting nation, we have laws. Our numero uno law? NO Crocs! Seriously, why on earth would anyone willingly wear those Swiss cheese-looking monstrosities?
Slowjamastan boasts citizens and agents from every corner of the globe, united by their love for puns and playful governance.
Our nation is ruled by the Sultan. Although he runs a dictatorship, he nonetheless keeps the mood light, and consequently, the laughs are always rolling.
Slowjamastan sits in the heart of NorthAmerica, a cozy Micronation nestled within ImperialCounty, SouthernCalifornia. Our kingdom spans a whopping 11.07 acres, cozily cradled next to California State Route 78, sandwiched between the delightful American towns of Ocotillo Wells and Westmorland. It’s the perfect spot for a sovereign state that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
So, come on down to Slowjamastan, where not only are the borders secure, but also the leaders are laugh-out-loud funny, and, as a result, every day is a chance to groove to your own rhythm!
In Slowjamastan, we believe in the dissolution of crocs, teaching people the correct way to eat string cheese, and eliminating feet on the dashboard forever! Want to join our cause? Well, Damn it, What are you waiting for? Apply to become one of my agents and together, we will succeed in creating a croc-free world!