The Official Porder Batrol is the border security and incident response division of the Sovereign Nation of Slowjamastan.

Led by Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona, the Porder Batrol investigates Crocs violations, unauthorized string cheese activity, feet on the dashboard offenses, taco speeding incidents, and other threats to national stability.

Our mission is simple:
Protect the borders.
Serve the citizens.
Keep Slowjamastan safe from unacceptable footwear choices.