We're Hiring A Few Outstanding Average Agents
Do you actually think you've got what it takes to become a Porder Batrol Agent?
Well, today might be your lucky day because WE’RE HIRING! That’s right, the Porder Batrol is now hiring co-ed field agents.
All applicants MUST somewhat meet or exceed our stringent standards, as follows:
- Attempt at least one push-up within one minute
- Walk a straight-line while finishing a game of angry birds
- Recover quickly after a 90-min power nap
- Enjoy taxpayer funded coffee, donuts, and frequent ice cream socials
- Complain about many issues at the same time
- Have a love for animals
If you responded with enthusiasm, Chief Mark Corona is excited to review your application. Apply today!
Absolutely NO Experience Necessary.
Disclaimer: There are only two ways to join the growing Nation of the Slowjamastan community. You can simply apply to become a Citizen here, or you can pay your dues to society by joining the not-so-hardworking crack team, The Porder Batrol. Suit yourself.