We're Hiring A Few Outstanding Average Agents

Do you actually think you've got what it takes to become a Porder Batrol Agent?

Porder Batrol Agent Application

Well, today might be your lucky day because WE’RE HIRING! That’s right, the Porder Batrol is now hiring co-ed field agents.

All applicants MUST somewhat meet or exceed our stringent standards, as follows:

  • Attempt at least one push-up within one minute
  • Walk a straight-line while finishing a game of angry birds
  • Recover quickly after a 90-min power nap
  • Enjoy taxpayer funded coffee, donuts, and frequent ice cream socials
  • Complain about many issues at the same time
  • Have a love for animals

If you responded with enthusiasm, Chief Mark Corona is excited to review your application. Apply today!

Absolutely NO Experience Necessary.

Apply Here

Disclaimer: There are only two ways to join the growing Nation of the Slowjamastan community. You can simply apply to become a Citizen here, or you can pay your dues to society by joining the not-so-hardworking crack team, The Porder Batrol. Suit yourself.