NO Crocs Allowed! | NO String Cheese Violators! | NO Feet On The Dashboard!

What Is Porder Batrol?

We're Hiring A Few Outstanding Average Agents

Do you actually think you've got what it takes to become a Porder Batrol Agent?

Porder Batrol Agent Application

Well, today might be your lucky day because WE’RE HIRING! That’s right, the Porder Batrol is now hiring co-ed field agents.

All applicants MUST somewhat meet or exceed our stringent standards, as follows:

  • Attempt at least one push-up within one and a half minutes
  • Walk a straight-line while finishing a game of angry birds
  • Recover quickly after a 90-min power nap
  • Must hate crocs, the Kardashians, Jersey Shore and mumble rap
  • Must agree that Mr. Furley was better than Mr. Roper
  • Have a love for animals
  • You agree to NEVER add cheese to your street tacos

If you responded with enthusiasm, Chief Mark Corona is excited to review your application. Apply today!

Absolutely NO Experience Necessary.

Apply Here

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Do You Meet Our Standards?

Disclaimer: There are only two ways to join the growing Nation of the Slowjamastan community. You can simply apply to become an Ambassador here, or you can pay your dues to society by joining the not-so-hardworking crack team, The Porder Batrol. Suit yourself.

Sultan and Chief Mark Corona

Put a Smile One Someone’s Face With A 15-30 sec Personalized Video Message From The Sultan or Chief Mark Corona. Inquiry Here