Meet Your Porder Batrol Agents

They are the dedicated backbone of our anti-crime efforts. Together, we take down croc wearing criminals, string cheese violators and pies (feet) on the dashboard offenders. These deputies uphold Slowjamastan’s most essential laws, and we couldn’t do it without them. We appreciate your dedication to keeping our country safe. Thank you for your invaluable service.

Kringle - K-9 Unit


Introducing Kringle, the Chief’s four-legged Labrador rescue. Kringle is the superhero who patrols the streets with Chief Mark Corona. This K-9 unit means business when it comes to fighting crime. Beware: Kringle’s tactics include slobbery kisses, tug of war, and devouring anything in sight. Warning to all Croc criminals, Kringle is on the job!

Our Team Of Brave Fighters - Click Pic To Reveal Agent Name

Want To Join This Elite Group?

Mark Corona is always looking for a few average men and women to join this elite group of croc fighters.  Apply to become a Porder Batrol Agent, today.

You MUST be able to:

  • Do at least 1 push-up
  • Walk a straight line
  • Finish your lunch within 90 minutes
  • Accept mandatory naps
  • Participate in ice cream Mondays

If this sounds like you, great! Chief Mark Corona awaits your application.

Disclaimer – Not everyone will have the privilege of becoming a member of this elite group of Porder Batrol Agents. You will receive an email with further instructions should your application be approved. 

Agent Application