What Is Porder Batrol ?

What Is Porder Batrol

The Porder Batrol is Slowjamastan’s first line of defense! Whether by pogo stick, bicycle, tricycle, running, walking, jumping, crawling, or crying, as Chief Border Patrol Agent, it is my duty to safeguard our borders from any lawbreakers.

Want to know what happens when you f**k around and find out?

Buckle up butter cup! Breaking our laws comes with serious consequences, ranging from enduring mumble rap to being slapped with a dirty croc. And, if you really want to push your luck, you might find yourself tortured to death by watching re-runs of the Kardashians for 24 hours. So, I ask you, do you really want to f**k and find out? Trust me, you don’t want to cross that line. However, I must admit, I’d relish the opportunity to personally slap you with a dirty clown shoe if you dare. Go ahead, I triple dog dare you!

But wait! What are the laws?

Excellent question. Glad you asked. Check out our full list of laws.

Well, there you have it. This is what the Slowjamastan Porder Batrol is all about. Want to join us? Please apply here.

What Is Porder Batrol?
I Look Forward To Meeting You! See You At The Gate!
Porder Batrol Gate

As Seen And Heard On

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