Feet On the Dashboard Overwhelm Agents. Chief says "Disgusting crime."
Despite the fact that one of the croc cartel leaders was arrested back in March, the chaos continues. While the Croc problem may be concerning, it seems the Slowjamastan Porder Batrol has a new threat to contend with – feet on the dashboard. Chief agent Mark Corona is cracking down on the offenders.
Who Knew Dirty Feet On The Dashboard Could Cause Such Trouble?
What Is The Punishment?
Being caught with your dirty pies (Spanish for feet) on any dashboard is a serious crime in Slowjamastan. The punishment? Two slaps with a dirty croc to the face. 2 hours of forced listening to non-stop mumble rap using noise reduction earbuds. 1 hour of Lil’ Uzi Vert songs starting at 5am. And, finally, non stop re-runs of the Kardashians.