Meet Mark Corona, the Chief Border Agent of Slowjamastan. While his role includes guarding the nation against Croc-wearing violators, Mark is equally dedicated to welcoming the public with open arms.
As he likes to say, “The U.S. Border Patrol detains and deports; I import and retain”—a playful nod to the traditional border patrol. When he’s not protecting the borders of Slowjamastan, Mark is a motivational speaker and national game show host, bringing energy, humor, and inspiration to audiences everywhere.
The Porder Batrol is the satirical “border patrol” of Slowjamastan, a whimsical, fictional nation built to unite people through humor, inclusivity, and lighthearted fun. Led by the spirited Chief Border Agent, the Porder Batrol enforces Slowjamastan’s quirky “laws” against playful “offenses” like wearing Crocs or improper string cheese consumption—all in the name of good-natured fun.
Unlike typical border patrols, the Porder Batrol’s mission is to welcome everyone, spark laughter, and ensure each visitor has an unforgettable experience. It’s a unique twist on traditional borders, created to spread joy and bring people together.
SEE something, SAY something! 866-NO-CROCS
Welcome to Slowjamastan, the world’s grooviest new country, where fun and hilarity reign supreme! Our borders are guarded by the illustrious Porder Batrol, led by the one and only Chief Mark Corona. Yes, you read it right. Not “Border Patrol”—that would be too ordinary for Slowjamastan.
You may have heard of us (and if you haven’t, you must be stuck in a Wi-Fi dead zone). We’ve been splashed across major news outlets like CNN, FOX, The Guardian, and even South Korea TV, making us the talk of the world!
And, like any self-respecting nation, we have laws. Our numero uno law? NO Crocs! Seriously, why on earth would anyone willingly wear those Swiss cheese-looking monstrosities?
Check out our full list of laws!
Slowjamastan boasts citizens and agents from every corner of the globe, united by their love for puns and playful governance.
Our nation is ruled by the Sultan. Although he runs a dictatorship, he nonetheless keeps the mood light, and consequently, the laughs are always rolling.
Slowjamastan sits in the heart of North America, a cozy Micronation nestled within Imperial County, Southern California. Our kingdom spans a whopping 11.07 acres, cozily cradled next to California State Route 78, sandwiched between the delightful American towns of Ocotillo Wells and Westmorland. It’s the perfect spot for a sovereign state that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
So, come on down to Slowjamastan, where not only are the borders secure, but also the leaders are laugh-out-loud funny, and, as a result, every day is a chance to groove to your own rhythm!
Want To Join The Growing Nation Of Slowjamastan?
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Put a Smile One Someone’s Face With A 15-30 sec Personalized Video Message From The Sultan or Chief Mark Corona. Inquiry Here
Watch Mark Corona in action!
In Slowjamastan, we believe in the dissolution of crocs, teaching people the correct way to eat string cheese, and eliminating feet on the dashboard forever! Want to join our cause? Well, Damn it, What are you waiting for? Apply to become one of my agents and together, we will succeed in creating a croc-free world!
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