EP. 02 — BAD AT TEXTING Official Advisory Issued by Chief Mark Corona Slowjamastan Porder Batrol
Tonight’s advisory addresses a growing pattern of suspicious communication behavior commonly identified as bad texting. Citizens who respond with one-word answers, disappear mid-conversation, or repeatedly reply “lol” without advancing the discussion may now be subject to review by the Slowjamastan Porder Batrol.
Chief Mark Corona and the Slowjamastan Porder Batrol are currently accepting official reports involving dangerous relationship behavior affecting citizens nationwide.
All reports remain confidential unless deemed extremely entertaining