**News Flash: Croc Violator Apprehended After Wild Chase Through San Diego, CA!** By Dirk Cunningham In a jaw-dropping turn of events, the Porder Batrol successfully captured a notorious croc violator who had been wreaking havoc in San Diego, CA! The daring pursuit unfolded in a scene straight out of a blockbuster movie, as the culprit, READ MORE
Breaking News – String Cheese Violator Arrested & Ridiculed!
String Cheese Violator Arrested & Ridiculed! Story By Dirk Cunningham In a world where the headlines only seem to report crime and violence, one story recently hit closer to home for me. A string cheese violator was arrested by Chief Patrol Agent, Mark Corona. As a fan of this tasty snack myself, I couldn’t help READ MORE
Fox 10 Phoenix Investigates: What is the Porder Batrol?
Fox 10 Phoenix Investigates: What is the Porder Batrol? Recently, Fox 10 News caught up with Chief Porder Batrol agent, Mark Corona, to discuss the legalities of his job and what’s behind it all. During the interview with Fox 10 News reporter Marissa Sarbak, Mr. Corona shed light on the strict laws that govern Slowjamastan’s READ MORE
Chief Gets Detained and Handcuffed In An Unforgettable Encounter with San Bernardino Police
Chief Gets Detained and Handcuffed In An Unforgettable Encounter with San Bernardino Police Story By Dirk Cunningham Traveling from Slowjamastan to Riverside, California, for a routine training session, Chief Patrol Agent Mark Corona finds himself pulled over by local law enforcement. It became apparent that the officers were either unaware of the Republic of Slowjamastan READ MORE
Official Laws
National Regulations Of The Sovereign Nation Of Slowjamastan The following laws have been established to preserve national stability, public order, and acceptable footwear standards within the borders of Slowjamastan. NOTICE OFFICIAL LAW DIRECTORY CROCS PROHIBITION ACT Official Summary The wearing, promotion, or public display of Crocs within the Sovereign Nation of Slowjamastan is strictly prohibited READ MORE
OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SCREENING TEST
OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SCREENING TEST The following examination has been authorized by the Porder Batrol Intelligence Division to determine whether applicants possess the minimum knowledge required for safe public interaction within Slowjamastan. Failure to pass may result in: public embarrassment temporary morale reduction increased questioning at future checkpoints STATUS: ACTIVECLEARANCE LEVEL: PUBLICEXAM VERSION: PB-EX-01 [streamquiz id=”1″]
The Porder Batrol In Action!
The Porder Batrol In Action! Watch Mark Corona in action! https://youtu.be/NHINlvTu7k0https://youtu.be/qWqGUsOSLashttps://youtu.be/27HGEon9uUIhttps://youtu.be/wgSN8cV5lfYhttps://youtu.be/AY9D6ZsriB0https://youtu.be/bSdoQUHhpTIhttps://youtu.be/ByxnFdBJZ0U Learn More About Slowjamastan. Watch These Videos https://youtu.be/Zio7KqEqxQwhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN5qaRJyRaQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZc564apZvE
Feet On the Dashboard Overwhelm Agents. Chief says “Disgusting crime.”
Feet On the Dashboard Overwhelm Agents. Chief says “Disgusting crime.” Story by Dirk Cunningham Despite the fact that one of the croc cartel leaders was arrested back in March, the chaos continues. While the Croc problem may be concerning, it seems the Slowjamastan Porder Batrol has a new threat to contend with – feet on READ MORE
BREAKING: Leader Of The Croc Cartel Arrested After Border Crossing
BREAKING: Leader Of The Croc Cartel Arrested After Border Crossing. Story by Dirk Cunningham After a wild chase through Slowjamastan, the notorious leader of the Croc cartel was apprehended. On Saturday, Eagle-eyed Asst. Border Agent Slowjamastanley made the arrest. Chief Border Agent Mark Corona praised his work and added that: “Crocs are an abomination to READ MORE