Congratulations.

Your application has successfully advanced through preliminary review conducted by the Official Porder Batrol Recruitment Division.

To receive full border agent clearance, applicants must complete final processing, including:

• Official Agent Registration
• Border Intelligence Access
• National Security Briefings
• Emergency Crocs Alerts
• Classified Incident Reports
• Priority Border Communications

Approved agents may also receive:

• Official Porder Batrol Agent Recognition
• Display within active agent records at PorderBatrol.com
• Sacred Agent Identification Number
• Official Agent Letter issued under the command of Chief Border Agent Mark Corona
• Access to the private Slowjamastan Facebook intelligence network
• Advance merchandise clearance access
• Access to The Sultan’s Secret Podcast
• The quiet satisfaction of helping defend the Porder from Crocs, chaos, and suspicious footwear