As the proud leader of the Porder Batrol in Slowjamastan, my mission is simple: to keep people in. Our quirky nation thrives on entertainment, engagement, and retention, and my job is to ensure every Slowjamastani feels like part of something special. I’m also an international speaker, a NATO invitee, and a national trivia host, where my passion for connecting with people truly shines.
In Slowjamastan, we believe in the power of satire and unity. We bring people together from all corners of the world, creating a vibrant, diverse community. Our citizens love our quirky laws, like banning Crocs and teaching the art of eating string cheese the right way. We don’t poke fun at the U.S. Border Patrol; instead, we draw inspiration from them. My custom-built single-cab Porder Batrol truck is part of the satire, a nod to the usual four-door patrol trucks.
Meeting fans and citizens from around the globe is one of the greatest joys of my role. We foster a strong community, engage, entertain, and welcome new citizens every day. Those who understand the satire get it. And for those who don’t? Well, maybe Slowjamastan isn’t for them. But for the rest, we’re here to keep things fun, engaging, and, above all, united.
With love and gratitude,
Mark Corona
Chief Border Agent, Slowjamastan
More About The Porder Batrol Here...
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