About The Porder Batrol

By day, Mark Corona bravely fights against border crime while taking on the role of Chief Porder Batrol Agent in Slowjamastan.

With his trustee tequila shooter close to his vest, he protects the borders from invaders and violators. From croc wearing fools to those who put their nasty feet on the dashboard, he keeps them out.

Although the border walls are almost non existent, that doesn’t stop the Chief from chasing down infiltrators. Running, biking, tricycling and pogo sticking, are all methods of chasing down these terrible human beings. 

The punishments are stiff. They range from making you watch reruns of the Kardashians, to getting slapped in the face with a dirty croc. In some cases, it can mean both. 

Then By Night He Transforms Into: Dirk Cunningham

Dirk Cunningham

He is Slowjamastan’s leading breaking news anchor. With his slick hair, incredible fashion sense, and stylish glasses, Dirk delivers. Watch Dirk in action in the video above.

Slowjamastanies have come to trust  Dirk Cunningham with his amazing voice that always starts and ends with comfort. His signature sign off “God bless the Republic Of Slowjamastan” brings people to their knees. 

Your life is not complete until you’ve watched a Dirk Cunningham breaking news report. 

Even the most mundane stories become gems of entertainment.

The Slowjamastan Special Forces Team


The Porder Batrol is your go to source for all Slowjamastan border news. Stay updated with the latest events and special appearances from the Sultan.